A Blaze
by Almis31
Summary: Alice is burning, her memories are being wiped away and she awakens alone to a face filling her mind. A face she does not know. This is a quick one shot on Alice's change and her first vision of Jasper.


A Blaze.

Blank.

Darkness surrounds me. The fire burns me. Scorching my insides and for the moments that I burn I truly feel I have gone crazy. That I belong in the darkness. That maybe my family was right to send me here.

As the fire burns I feel like I am floating, being carried away. Air washes over me, but does not quell the fire. I pray for anything to extinguish the flames, but it is futile. I am burning from the inside, there are no flames.

I feel my body mold to the ground as I am set down. There is a whisper in my ear, a quite goodbye, and then I am alone. Left to burn by myself.

I scream.

It echoes out, bounces back to me and I scream again as the fire reaches the parts of my body it had yet to reach. I am alone and burning. The pain. The flames. The darkness. It is all I have. My body thrashes against the ground, trying to fight off the pain, trying to calm the fire.

There is fire but where is the orange light that comes with it. Blank. There are no flames, just pain.

More screams fight their way out of my body. High-pitched and long. They vibrate through my burning body and escape past my lips. Terror and pain.

I am dying.

My body is weakening and the flames char my limbs.

My legs twitch.

My toes curl.

My hands fist.

My arms spasm.

My torso thrashes.

My head shakes.

My body burns.

I am dying and I cannot stop it. I cannot fight it. It is slow. It is painful. It is torture. No sound reaches my ears, I am lost in myself. My screams have stopped, my voice too broken to continue. I am left to silently burn.

Do they mourn me? My father. My Mother. My sister. Do they miss me? Do they care? Their faces fade as the burning reaches my memories. Am I not allowed to take them with me? Do my memories disappear as my body decomposes into ash? Their names are lost. I cannot remember them? I know I love them, but I cannot remember them as the fire expels them from my mind.

Lost forever.

Is there heaven? Is there hell? I fear I am not allowed in heaven, that my life held some sin too large to be forgiven, but I cannot remember. My eyes scrunch up, please let me remember. Please let me apologize for whatever I have done. I do not wish to spend eternity in hell.

Let me remember, so I can truly be sorry.

Let me remember, so I can be forgiven.

Just let me remember.

There is too much darkness. I feel the wind momentarily, but I see no stars. I see nothing. I only feel the pain of the fire coursing through my bones now. Punishing me and torturing me. I cannot cry, the fire burns the tears before they escape. I still feel whole. How long will I burn until I turn to ash? It feels like an eternity.

Maybe that is my answer. I shall not disintegrate, the fire shall not cease. Maybe I am to burn infinitely.

Never quelling, never flickering to a stop. I am suspended in time, not allowed to feel peace, not allowed to feel hope. Just pain. That is all I am allowed to feel. Just pain.

I wish for tears. I wish for my sobs to break free, because I need some sign that I am still here. That I can still feel anything but the flames. The flames that do not burn bright, they just burn with the temperature of the sun.

I am sure I used to like the sun, but the fire takes those memories too. Banishing them to a place where I cannot reach them. To a place where I cannot find them.

I am simply hanging on an edge, grasping at the sides. I am simply dying.

My chest rises and falls with quickened pace. It jerks as air fights past the flames. It stutters as the breaths become shorter. As my life ends.

The fire sears, my heart quickens as it fights until the end. It tries to block out the flames, it tries to hold strong, but just like the rest of my body the fire finds its way into my heart. It shifts. The fire moves. It races to my beating organ, leaving my limbs, leaving my mind. It goes for the one part of me that has not been charred by the brutal burning of my body.

My heart crashes against my chest, trying to free itself, trying to escape the confines of my ribcage, trying to escape the inferno. It catches light and the pain encases it, like a claw it compresses it.

My hearts continues to try in vain to survive. It fails. The beats quicken and slow like clockwork. Then it stops. The fire won. My body burned and my heart ceased.

There is a flash behind my eyelids, light fills my mind. Then there is a face. A face I do not know. A smile forms on his features, his scarlet eyes warm with a gentle glow. His honey blond hair waves gently in a slight disarray. His neck is marred with crescent shaped scars which continue along parts of his jaw line, yet he is perfect. He seems to be smiling at me, but, somehow, he cannot be. His tall muscular frame is lean and appears relaxed.

I gasp as he disappears from my vision and I am once again in the dark. Air fills my lungs, but it feels useless. My heart is silent and still, yet I appear to be conscious. My eyes flicker open and I find the stars that I could not see earlier. The breeze cools my body. The burning has stopped and it took my hearts last beat with it.

My eyes remain open, taking in every detail surrounding me. Everything is so defined. I look at the wonders around me, but all I want to see is his face again. There is another flash of light and his smiling face warms my mind again.

His hair brushes around his eyes as the wind blows past him. His eyes are gold this time, not scarlet.

Then he disappears again. I blink twice and am back under the stars.

I do not know what has happened. I cannot remember anything but I know I must find that honey blond stranger. I must find him. For the moments that he warmed my mind I felt content. I felt at ease. His smile caused something to happen in my still heart, it did not beat, but it felt warmth. A type of warmth that only his smile seems to bring.

I must find him, I think I love him.


End file.
